rambling thoughts on misunderstanding - warning: it doesn't make much sense :)

i feel like this has come up a lot lately for me - how? lots of ways - distance, language, culture - you know, the normal ones.

it's not always bad to be misunderstood, of course, but when it comes to really feeling comfortable in your skin and in your head in a place where both are pretty foreign, it can just be, well, frustrating. i'm not having problems with anyone here - no problems with my job, my life in general - i think my biggest problem is just figuring out how to do it all, to be my estadounidense self with all the ideas and perspectives that come with it, to be a sensitive foreigner in a different culture (well, more than that - to adapt), to relate to both cultures while really not completely relating to either. how am i supposed to do that? i never was the stereotypical american, i guess, but it was always pretty apparent to myself (and others many times too) where i was from. so for now i'm not chilean, but i'm beyond my american view too - i guess you can't be defined by a culture, though it is nice to relate to something. hmm, i'm rambling...

well, i am proud of my country and love it - it's not perfect, but that's ok, no country is. just because i meet americans here doesn't mean i have to like them or be like them - and if i do and am, well, i guess i have a new friend :) my friends here are from all over, and that's pretty cool - well, lots of my friends at home were too, including my boyfriend - and that's incredible too. i need to take things more as they are, i think - i get too far into my head and get lost, total waste of energy.

so for now, i'm just going to sit here and listen to my 311 and think of my high school summers in fayetteville spent driving in the oppressive heat to the lake or the movies or wherever - then when imogen heap comes on i'll think of my summer of indulgence and insatiable desire to travel (that still hasn't left me, obviously) in france - then when ivete sangalo comes on i'll be right back on the beach in brazil drinking beer and eating bolinhos as angry waves crash on the beach - and then reggaeton will come on and i'll be right here, right now, all of these things together. and that's what it is.

so please don't expect me to be one of these people all the time, or assume i am because i'm from where i'm from or i've been where i've been - i'm just me - i think too much, fall hard, trust fast, don't mind living simply, am always 15 minutes late, and would be content to just feel valuable, needed, loved, and appreciated - i'm not a "stuff" person really.

and if i'm going to be misunderstood, i'd prefer that it was this and not my home country or my adopted country or any other country or culture that got mixed up in the middle - if only the world were that simple :)

oh geez...

let me start out by saying that i´ve had waaaaaaaay too much sugar today. i´m a chocolate lover but not usually a candy/sweet tea/things with a lot of sugar lover, so this has been all a little too much for me...i´m a little lightheaded to be honest, so i figured i´d get my brain back in working mode a little by just writing some of the sugary goodness out of my head :) before i get off the sugar topic, though, let me first say that if you need a sugar fix...badly...then get some pressed sugar cane juice/water/liquid sugar :)

anyway, so things have been slowing down at work a bit since my boss (the one in charge of me that tells me what to do) has been busy preparing a bid and i´ve been trying to stretch out my work so that i have things to keep myself busy during the day until he gets back to me with more tasks. in an effort to do this, i´ve been reading the news, researching the oil and gas industry (that´s kinda my job i guess, ha ha), and just looking up things that interest me. i stumbled across one of those personality tests (the istj/epmt/jsldjfldks ones, you know)...i was curious and it seemed interesting, and although i never put all my faith in tests like this, i figured, why not?

apparently i´m an enfp, "the inspirer..." ok...so i read the description it gives, which happens to be pretty in-depth, and wow, it was like someone sat down and wrote about me...not everything, but a lot of things, yes, and it was a little freaky. how crazy is it that some people sat down and came up with ways to classify people based on some general questions? we´re all so unique in many ways, but when it comes down to it, we all somehow follow a certain trend...incredible.

this only furthers the belief that i´ve had for so long (and has only become stronger as i´ve traveled) that people are people, no matter where they come from, what kinds of religious beliefs they have, what kind of food they eat, what their hobbies are, etc. there are enfp´s like me in brazil and in france and australia and anywhere else i´ve ever been, and everywhere besides those places too. amazing.